I was thinking about a good metaphor for the part of my job that struggle with the most the other day when I had a real tough day. Then a line from Aladdin came from me and I decided that sometimes I feel like a genie! (Yeah, I know this sounds strange, but hear me out.) When I finally thought of it, the humor of it helped me get through the next couple of hours at least. I don't think I'm a genie in the phenominal cosmic power sort of way, but more of a "you must make a wish before I can do anything for you", restricted sort of way.
Part of my job this year has involved being a Pathways Navigator, a job description that entails a lot of case management, sometimes bordering on social work, which, in the great tradition of JVC, is something that I felt thoroughly unprepared for. Now, even after being at it for almost 3 months, it is definitely the part of my position that I find the most challenging and I've felt over my head several times when meeting with clients with exceedingly complex problems.
So, in a nutshell, how the Pathways program works is I do a Risk Assessment with someone who has been referred to the program, usually by the lawyers with whom I work, so many of my clients are Spanish speaking immigrants. The Risk Assessment is designed to identify and reach out to the most vulnerable and disconnected members of the community, particularly those struggling in multiple areas (i.e. in need of housing, medical attention, education, dental work, etc.) Many times I have had to turn a client away who had multiple issues, but, to put it bluntly, simply weren't in enough trouble to qualify for the program. Despising being the bearer of bad news, I think this is almost as difficult for me to say as it is for the person to hear. So, when I can tell someone that we're able to help them, that alone is a win in my book. . . they found the magic lamp and rubbed it and . . . poof, the genie appears to fix all their problems. . . if only it were so simple.
So, if we're playing by this metaphor, next come the three wishes . . . which plays in perfectly to the three official "pathways" (resolving issues) with which we can help a client. Now obviously my restrictions are a bit more practical and realistic than those of the genie from Aladdin. His only limitations were, if I recall correctly "#1 I can't make anyone fall in love with anybody else. #2 I can't kill people. #3 I can't bring people back from the dead. It's not a pretty picture, I don't like doing it . . . but other than that, you got it." Sometimes I feel like that's what a client hears when I say that I'll do my best to help them in any way I can. I, on the other hand, have more binding restrictions. For example, as a representative of a legal organization I can't officially help anyone without documents to obtain work (aka work "illegally"), I have to play by the rules of the system, I can't make things go faster even in an urgent situation and, most frustrating of all, I can only help clients as much as they are willing to help them selves and allow themselves to be helped. Obviously, I am not magical, all powerful, or even in control of the situation, something which has infuriated me on more than one occasion during the short time I've been here.
I recently have been working with two clients who have been very stressful in different ways. The first is a survivor of domestic violence and an immigrant who is currently in the process of getting papers. She was formerly a client at a sister organization, but she stopped services there so she was referred to me about 8 months later, desperate for a job and enough food to sustain her and her 6 children. 1st problem of note, I'm not a job developer and there's only so much I can do in that situation. Since beginning to work with her about a month ago she has had several obstacles in her way, including her car breaking down (this genie's pretty useless at fixing that), being uninsured and without a license, her phone broke so she could only receive texts and the food bank agency she went to wouldn't take her foreign id. One day I spent several hours with her, trying to get her an id. and documents for her legal case (one I hadn't dealt with before, so I was figuring out on the fly what the attorney needed us to get.) We were successful in one task, but not the other because after me driving to the DMV, back to the office to get her, back to her house to get cash, she forgot her foreign picture id at home, not realizing this until we were almost ready for our (late) appointment). As she searched for it in her bag, she seemed to look to me to set everything right, which I simply couldn't. I had no power to make all the documents we needed appear. Despite muddling through a couple of situations with her, she thanked me and things are looking up.
It just so happened that same trip I ran into one of my other clients. As I stood at the police records department I was having simultaneous conversations in English and Spanish, one client desperately wanting my help, the other lashing out verbally at anyone who would try to help him. This man is currently experiencing homelessness and, if he were willing to help himself, he could have his own home tomorrow. Since I started working with him 2 months ago he has been a project, more interested in attacking what he sees as a bureacratic, unjust system that has wronged him one time too many, than stepping up to the plate and helping himself get where he needs to be. This past Wednesday I had what might be my last meeting with him and, suffice it to say, it did not go well. As I was trying to logically talk him through his housing options, he accused me of being thoroughly unhelpful and of having an interest in helping the system violate his rights. He investigated my salary, thinking the government was spying on him and, after nearly an hour, we both left unsatisfied. I told him I would be there if he wanted my help again, but that it seemed he was more interested in picking fights than helping himself. I'm still struggling through this situation, since seeing someone in so much need who could be helped, but is unwilling to do what he needs to do, is one of the most frustrating things I have ever seen.
So, there you have it. Clear evidence that I'm not a genie and that I'm learning the lesson that so many things, from mistakes to client's attitudes, are beyond my control. Maybe that sense of lack of control is the very end of the metaphor, a little Aladdin moment of setting my ego and Messiah complex free. It's the knowing that I can't do everything for everyone, but in that I can do something.
