I was thinking about a good metaphor for the part of my job that struggle with the most the other day when I had a real tough day. Then a line from Aladdin came from me and I decided that sometimes I feel like a genie! (Yeah, I know this sounds strange, but hear me out.) When I finally thought of it, the humor of it helped me get through the next couple of hours at least. I don't think I'm a genie in the phenominal cosmic power sort of way, but more of a "you must make a wish before I can do anything for you", restricted sort of way.
Part of my job this year has involved being a Pathways Navigator, a job description that entails a lot of case management, sometimes bordering on social work, which, in the great tradition of JVC, is something that I felt thoroughly unprepared for. Now, even after being at it for almost 3 months, it is definitely the part of my position that I find the most challenging and I've felt over my head several times when meeting with clients with exceedingly complex problems.
So, in a nutshell, how the Pathways program works is I do a Risk Assessment with someone who has been referred to the program, usually by the lawyers with whom I work, so many of my clients are Spanish speaking immigrants. The Risk Assessment is designed to identify and reach out to the most vulnerable and disconnected members of the community, particularly those struggling in multiple areas (i.e. in need of housing, medical attention, education, dental work, etc.) Many times I have had to turn a client away who had multiple issues, but, to put it bluntly, simply weren't in enough trouble to qualify for the program. Despising being the bearer of bad news, I think this is almost as difficult for me to say as it is for the person to hear. So, when I can tell someone that we're able to help them, that alone is a win in my book. . . they found the magic lamp and rubbed it and . . . poof, the genie appears to fix all their problems. . . if only it were so simple.
So, if we're playing by this metaphor, next come the three wishes . . . which plays in perfectly to the three official "pathways" (resolving issues) with which we can help a client. Now obviously my restrictions are a bit more practical and realistic than those of the genie from Aladdin. His only limitations were, if I recall correctly "#1 I can't make anyone fall in love with anybody else. #2 I can't kill people. #3 I can't bring people back from the dead. It's not a pretty picture, I don't like doing it . . . but other than that, you got it." Sometimes I feel like that's what a client hears when I say that I'll do my best to help them in any way I can. I, on the other hand, have more binding restrictions. For example, as a representative of a legal organization I can't officially help anyone without documents to obtain work (aka work "illegally"), I have to play by the rules of the system, I can't make things go faster even in an urgent situation and, most frustrating of all, I can only help clients as much as they are willing to help them selves and allow themselves to be helped. Obviously, I am not magical, all powerful, or even in control of the situation, something which has infuriated me on more than one occasion during the short time I've been here.
I recently have been working with two clients who have been very stressful in different ways. The first is a survivor of domestic violence and an immigrant who is currently in the process of getting papers. She was formerly a client at a sister organization, but she stopped services there so she was referred to me about 8 months later, desperate for a job and enough food to sustain her and her 6 children. 1st problem of note, I'm not a job developer and there's only so much I can do in that situation. Since beginning to work with her about a month ago she has had several obstacles in her way, including her car breaking down (this genie's pretty useless at fixing that), being uninsured and without a license, her phone broke so she could only receive texts and the food bank agency she went to wouldn't take her foreign id. One day I spent several hours with her, trying to get her an id. and documents for her legal case (one I hadn't dealt with before, so I was figuring out on the fly what the attorney needed us to get.) We were successful in one task, but not the other because after me driving to the DMV, back to the office to get her, back to her house to get cash, she forgot her foreign picture id at home, not realizing this until we were almost ready for our (late) appointment). As she searched for it in her bag, she seemed to look to me to set everything right, which I simply couldn't. I had no power to make all the documents we needed appear. Despite muddling through a couple of situations with her, she thanked me and things are looking up.
It just so happened that same trip I ran into one of my other clients. As I stood at the police records department I was having simultaneous conversations in English and Spanish, one client desperately wanting my help, the other lashing out verbally at anyone who would try to help him. This man is currently experiencing homelessness and, if he were willing to help himself, he could have his own home tomorrow. Since I started working with him 2 months ago he has been a project, more interested in attacking what he sees as a bureacratic, unjust system that has wronged him one time too many, than stepping up to the plate and helping himself get where he needs to be. This past Wednesday I had what might be my last meeting with him and, suffice it to say, it did not go well. As I was trying to logically talk him through his housing options, he accused me of being thoroughly unhelpful and of having an interest in helping the system violate his rights. He investigated my salary, thinking the government was spying on him and, after nearly an hour, we both left unsatisfied. I told him I would be there if he wanted my help again, but that it seemed he was more interested in picking fights than helping himself. I'm still struggling through this situation, since seeing someone in so much need who could be helped, but is unwilling to do what he needs to do, is one of the most frustrating things I have ever seen.
So, there you have it. Clear evidence that I'm not a genie and that I'm learning the lesson that so many things, from mistakes to client's attitudes, are beyond my control. Maybe that sense of lack of control is the very end of the metaphor, a little Aladdin moment of setting my ego and Messiah complex free. It's the knowing that I can't do everything for everyone, but in that I can do something.
Saturday, November 2, 2013
Saturday, October 19, 2013
ABQ, the first 2 months.
Well, here we are and it's mid-October. I seem to remember about 6 months ago I promised I would update this blog more often . . . so much for that. As a fall resolution, I'm going to attempt to do just that (which may be easier given our closer proximity to the library this year).
So, for anyone who may not know I decided to do an additional year of the Jesuit Volunteer Corps, this time in Albuquerque, New Mexico. I am working at a non-profit Immigrant Law Center and have been exploring my job for the past 2 months. Like most JV positions, I wear many hats at the office. The part of my job that I enjoy doing the most is legal work. I've been trained in how to do intakes and forms for Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals(DACA)and I spend at least a couple of hours a week doing intakes for these as well as helping put together people's cases (organizing paperwork, making follow up phone calls, putting together cover letters, etc.) This has been a great taste into the legal world, although it can be scary at the same time. I've begun playing with the idea of either law school or becoming a paralegal for a little over a month now, something which would have been entirely out of the question before this year.
The other part of my job is case management and resource connection for the Pathways program. As part of this I have a caseload of around 15 individuals who have some sort of social needs (medical debt, experiencing homelessness, difficulty paying the bills etc.). Many of them also struggle with communicating in English and the challenges that the system poses, even in Albuquerque where many people and agencies are Spanish-speaking. I've enjoyed the opportunity to use my Spanish skills with my clients even though this is the part of my job that I struggle with the most.
It's certainly been a 180 degree turn from helping with the after-school program last year and though I miss the kids I worked with and Boyle Heights dearly this is where I believe I'm needed right now.
The other huge piece of the JV experience is of course community. A lot has happened in 2 months, sometimes it seems like we've been living with each other for 2 days, others it seems like 20 years. Like my job, my living situation has also been a complete 180 from last year. Instead of the comfortable ratio of 4 girls to 2 guys, I've found myself in a 4:2 minority in the only community in Albuquerque. I was hesitant (some might even say panicked) at this idea just 3 months ago when I got my list of housemates, but we clicked very early on. I've been blessed to live with 4 of the most accepting and laid back guys on the planet: Alex, Anthony, Ben and Chris.
Chris and I worked together for about the 1st month and a half of the program until he switched jobs. He's a fellow guitar player and Spanish speaker and lover of the outdoors.
Ben (Linus) is a splendid cook with a talent for throwing spices together. He's one of the easiest people to get along with on the face of the planet and has the energy of a five year old kid when he gets excited about something.
Anthony (or Ant as we call him) is my go-to for hugs. He's got a contageous joy for life and it our schedules generally work out so I see him in the morning before I take off. He's up for whatever adventure we've got planned and always has a great sense of humor about it.
Alex is a city boy at heart, so he keeps us doing things in Albuquerque. He's welcoming and has a generous heart and a genuine desire to make people happy.
Amanda, the only other girl in the house, is awesome. I don't know how I would survive without her. A fellow nerd and a flute player, one of my favorite activities this year has been playing music with her at the 5:00 Mass across the street. She also bakes a mean apple pie. :)
Well, in short that's the 1st 2 months in ABQ, famous for Breaking Bad, Green Chili and a small town feel. I'll try to keep posting more often.
Que le vaya bien.
So, for anyone who may not know I decided to do an additional year of the Jesuit Volunteer Corps, this time in Albuquerque, New Mexico. I am working at a non-profit Immigrant Law Center and have been exploring my job for the past 2 months. Like most JV positions, I wear many hats at the office. The part of my job that I enjoy doing the most is legal work. I've been trained in how to do intakes and forms for Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals(DACA)and I spend at least a couple of hours a week doing intakes for these as well as helping put together people's cases (organizing paperwork, making follow up phone calls, putting together cover letters, etc.) This has been a great taste into the legal world, although it can be scary at the same time. I've begun playing with the idea of either law school or becoming a paralegal for a little over a month now, something which would have been entirely out of the question before this year.
The other part of my job is case management and resource connection for the Pathways program. As part of this I have a caseload of around 15 individuals who have some sort of social needs (medical debt, experiencing homelessness, difficulty paying the bills etc.). Many of them also struggle with communicating in English and the challenges that the system poses, even in Albuquerque where many people and agencies are Spanish-speaking. I've enjoyed the opportunity to use my Spanish skills with my clients even though this is the part of my job that I struggle with the most.
It's certainly been a 180 degree turn from helping with the after-school program last year and though I miss the kids I worked with and Boyle Heights dearly this is where I believe I'm needed right now.
The other huge piece of the JV experience is of course community. A lot has happened in 2 months, sometimes it seems like we've been living with each other for 2 days, others it seems like 20 years. Like my job, my living situation has also been a complete 180 from last year. Instead of the comfortable ratio of 4 girls to 2 guys, I've found myself in a 4:2 minority in the only community in Albuquerque. I was hesitant (some might even say panicked) at this idea just 3 months ago when I got my list of housemates, but we clicked very early on. I've been blessed to live with 4 of the most accepting and laid back guys on the planet: Alex, Anthony, Ben and Chris.
Chris and I worked together for about the 1st month and a half of the program until he switched jobs. He's a fellow guitar player and Spanish speaker and lover of the outdoors.
Ben (Linus) is a splendid cook with a talent for throwing spices together. He's one of the easiest people to get along with on the face of the planet and has the energy of a five year old kid when he gets excited about something.
Anthony (or Ant as we call him) is my go-to for hugs. He's got a contageous joy for life and it our schedules generally work out so I see him in the morning before I take off. He's up for whatever adventure we've got planned and always has a great sense of humor about it.
Alex is a city boy at heart, so he keeps us doing things in Albuquerque. He's welcoming and has a generous heart and a genuine desire to make people happy.
Amanda, the only other girl in the house, is awesome. I don't know how I would survive without her. A fellow nerd and a flute player, one of my favorite activities this year has been playing music with her at the 5:00 Mass across the street. She also bakes a mean apple pie. :)
Well, in short that's the 1st 2 months in ABQ, famous for Breaking Bad, Green Chili and a small town feel. I'll try to keep posting more often.
Que le vaya bien.
Thursday, March 7, 2013
January, February 2013
Well, here we are again, 2 months after I'm pretty sure I said I would be writing every month. Well, several things have happened since then and the last 2 months have kept me very much on my toes. The major event was on January 6th I became a victim of crime. I was walking to church in broad daylight by myself, something I've done a handful of times since living here. It's not a long walk at all and I'd never felt endangered on the way there before, so the primary thoughts running through my mind were about getting to Mass on time, since I was running late. Even walking down the sidewalk beside the church, I could hear the people in the congregation singing. I was nearly there when I saw a man in a dark hoodie sweatshirt round the corner where the church entrance was at the intersection of the two streets. I didn't think much of him, but said good morning, at which point he shoved me to the ground, ripped my purse off, breaking the handle and dashed off. Immediately after the community rushed to help. One woman handed me her cell phone to call the police since I thought I'd left mine in my purse (it turns out it was in my pocket, which I realized moments later). Another woman tried to head off the man in her car and find him. Soon after the parish priests and pastoral minister were taking care of me. My roommates were there in a flash and have been very supportive throughout the whole healing process, doing their best to walk me to and from places when they can, attending jiu jitsu classes with me and just overall being awesome people.
So, lest everyone think the last couple of months were entirely dark and depressing, let me set the record straight. We've also had a lot of fun. We went out before re-orientation and spent a day seeing the sights in San Fransisco. We went to fisherman's warf, Golden Gate Park, the mission, and had some great croissants that my roommate swears are better than the croissants in France. It was the first time I'd been in the bay area for an extended period of time and it was great! We also happened to see a double rainbow as we were driving on our way to the retreat, something truly special! We had a necessary time of rejuvenation and re-purpose at our Re-orientation that took place at the same place we had orientation 6 months before. Additionally we ruled the talent show with our houses massive dance skills. On the way back we took the 101, the scenic route back and saw some incredible ocean views, some elephant seals.
The students I work with never cease to amaze me from day to day. Whether it's having them yell at me for help with their homework or the struggle of getting them to settle down after a full day of school, there are always frustrating moments. There are a couple of them that I can depend on to lie to me about whether they have homework and that I just have to struggle with until they finally get tired of fighting. But it's the times that they're not fighting me that I really treasure and I'm sure will be the times I remember at the end of this year. Times like when I'm sitting down and reading a Cars book for the 5th time in a row with our Kindergartener. Or I'm reading "Wishbone" books with one of the little girls who is jealous of me because 1) my name is a book in the bible and 2) I got to see Wishbone on t.v. when I was growing up. One of the best moments in the past couple of months was playing basketball with some of the younger guys, particularly with one of the students who is absolutely famous for not listening to me. I was on his team and thankfully some of my basketball skills from years back came back to me for the day and we had a fantastic game. It may be just my imagination, but I think after that bonding experience he listens to me a little better than he did.
Being, now, more than halfway through the year is a very strange feeling. Even as I write this I'm thinking of questions to ask the person who will come here next year, the person my supervisor is going to be interviewing very soon. What will I be doing next year is still the looming question. I can tell now that this year has certainly changed me. A couple of weekends ago I gave a testimony talk at a retreat for confirmation students. This talk was very self-directed, which drove me nuts, especially since my roommate who was leading the retreat knows I like to have some structure and guidelines. How I made it my own surprised me. Perhaps the most surprising part was that I allowed myself to be very honest about the entirety of my experience and not worry if it was "okay". That meant that I spoke to my struggles with God, I spoke to the fact that sometimes the church and I or my parents and I disagree about issues of faith or social justice. I spoke to the fact that I was struggling in faith in a very deep, emotional way at the time and I allowed that to be all right. I've given so many talks in the past, to RCIA, to youth groups, to TEC retreats, but this is the first one I've given that I feel has truly been 100% me, 100% my testimony that I owned, 100% my story and not pleasing the people who were running the retreat or saying what I was supposed to say. I also gave the kids a card and asked them to write down 2 things, one gift that they have and one thing they would change about the world. While I may have said this in other talks, really going out and doing the action this year has been a truly powerful experience. I don't think I've gotten enough of it yet, so I am still debating doing a second year of JVC. I've also debated staying here in Los Angeles, specifically the neighborhood where I live now. Either option is scary, but I've got to wrestle with it.
So in closing for now, I want to refer you to the passage I used to close my talk at the retreat, Jacob wrestling with God/the Angel in Genesis. Look it up if you have a free moment.
Peace, love & courage,
-Ruth
So, lest everyone think the last couple of months were entirely dark and depressing, let me set the record straight. We've also had a lot of fun. We went out before re-orientation and spent a day seeing the sights in San Fransisco. We went to fisherman's warf, Golden Gate Park, the mission, and had some great croissants that my roommate swears are better than the croissants in France. It was the first time I'd been in the bay area for an extended period of time and it was great! We also happened to see a double rainbow as we were driving on our way to the retreat, something truly special! We had a necessary time of rejuvenation and re-purpose at our Re-orientation that took place at the same place we had orientation 6 months before. Additionally we ruled the talent show with our houses massive dance skills. On the way back we took the 101, the scenic route back and saw some incredible ocean views, some elephant seals.
The students I work with never cease to amaze me from day to day. Whether it's having them yell at me for help with their homework or the struggle of getting them to settle down after a full day of school, there are always frustrating moments. There are a couple of them that I can depend on to lie to me about whether they have homework and that I just have to struggle with until they finally get tired of fighting. But it's the times that they're not fighting me that I really treasure and I'm sure will be the times I remember at the end of this year. Times like when I'm sitting down and reading a Cars book for the 5th time in a row with our Kindergartener. Or I'm reading "Wishbone" books with one of the little girls who is jealous of me because 1) my name is a book in the bible and 2) I got to see Wishbone on t.v. when I was growing up. One of the best moments in the past couple of months was playing basketball with some of the younger guys, particularly with one of the students who is absolutely famous for not listening to me. I was on his team and thankfully some of my basketball skills from years back came back to me for the day and we had a fantastic game. It may be just my imagination, but I think after that bonding experience he listens to me a little better than he did.
Being, now, more than halfway through the year is a very strange feeling. Even as I write this I'm thinking of questions to ask the person who will come here next year, the person my supervisor is going to be interviewing very soon. What will I be doing next year is still the looming question. I can tell now that this year has certainly changed me. A couple of weekends ago I gave a testimony talk at a retreat for confirmation students. This talk was very self-directed, which drove me nuts, especially since my roommate who was leading the retreat knows I like to have some structure and guidelines. How I made it my own surprised me. Perhaps the most surprising part was that I allowed myself to be very honest about the entirety of my experience and not worry if it was "okay". That meant that I spoke to my struggles with God, I spoke to the fact that sometimes the church and I or my parents and I disagree about issues of faith or social justice. I spoke to the fact that I was struggling in faith in a very deep, emotional way at the time and I allowed that to be all right. I've given so many talks in the past, to RCIA, to youth groups, to TEC retreats, but this is the first one I've given that I feel has truly been 100% me, 100% my testimony that I owned, 100% my story and not pleasing the people who were running the retreat or saying what I was supposed to say. I also gave the kids a card and asked them to write down 2 things, one gift that they have and one thing they would change about the world. While I may have said this in other talks, really going out and doing the action this year has been a truly powerful experience. I don't think I've gotten enough of it yet, so I am still debating doing a second year of JVC. I've also debated staying here in Los Angeles, specifically the neighborhood where I live now. Either option is scary, but I've got to wrestle with it.
So in closing for now, I want to refer you to the passage I used to close my talk at the retreat, Jacob wrestling with God/the Angel in Genesis. Look it up if you have a free moment.
Peace, love & courage,
-Ruth
Thursday, January 3, 2013
La Navidad y el ano nuevo
1st of all, I know the Spanish word for year has squiggly line over it, but I don't know how to make that happen.
And a merry Christmas it was. Christmas festivities here at IMPACTO were fun even if they did leave the place looking like a train wreck. Though we didn't do "A Christmas Carol" (short sweet Charles Dickens' version, which is now getting postponed until January or February due to lack of rehearsal time) the middle schoolers and high schoolers did a short play about being nice and generous. One of the volunteers directed it and they had a merry time. That, combined with the caroling and gift giving made IMPACTO Christmas a one for the books. The kids were thrilled and our building even looked like a winter wonderland with all the Christmas decorations snowmen etc going up. It was a blessing to see some of the kids' faces when they opened presents, many of whom may have received the only gift they were going to get this Christmas. Some of them even bought into a Latino Santa Clause.
There are also a couple of community traditions around Christmas time that we got the opportunity to partake in. The first was the mass for our Lady of Guadalupe. It wasn't just the mass, the whole first half of December or so was dedicated to celebration of the patroness of Mexico and there were cries of "Que Viva" (kind of like "Long live the queen") during processions as early as December 2nd, when I joined the confirmation class and other community members in the first of several processions. The second was on one of my roommates birthdays and his parents had the opportunity to visit him and experience a local church procession complete with Aztec dancers and sage. Still, that wasn't it. The novena completed on December 12th with a Mass and las mananitas beginning at 3:45 in the morning. And we managed to wake up and, bundled in blankets that we didn't need once we got in the church, listened to awesome Mariachi music and then celebrated Mass.
Then as we all were preparing to go home for a Christmas break with our family, we also participated in Las posadas, a call and response procession, celebrated nightly from December 16th until the 23rd, The group of faithful people process to 3 houses, recreating the journey of Mary & Joseph and at each house they sing a song, creating a dialogue between the choir and the people, representing the innkeepers and Mary & Joseph. There is also a testimony about education, faith, etc. Then the group continues on to the next house until the final stop, where they are finally permitted to enter and usually fed. Our house had the honor of being the first stop the night before I left Los Angeles for the return home.
Between these celebrations and advent/Christmas, December was a very spiritual month. It finished perfectly and beautifully in the opportunity to visit family and friends and reconnecting with communities back home.
In the new year I will strive to update this blog more often as I experience the rest of this year in Los Angeles and whatever awaits beyond. Happy 2013. May it be blessed.
And a merry Christmas it was. Christmas festivities here at IMPACTO were fun even if they did leave the place looking like a train wreck. Though we didn't do "A Christmas Carol" (short sweet Charles Dickens' version, which is now getting postponed until January or February due to lack of rehearsal time) the middle schoolers and high schoolers did a short play about being nice and generous. One of the volunteers directed it and they had a merry time. That, combined with the caroling and gift giving made IMPACTO Christmas a one for the books. The kids were thrilled and our building even looked like a winter wonderland with all the Christmas decorations snowmen etc going up. It was a blessing to see some of the kids' faces when they opened presents, many of whom may have received the only gift they were going to get this Christmas. Some of them even bought into a Latino Santa Clause.
There are also a couple of community traditions around Christmas time that we got the opportunity to partake in. The first was the mass for our Lady of Guadalupe. It wasn't just the mass, the whole first half of December or so was dedicated to celebration of the patroness of Mexico and there were cries of "Que Viva" (kind of like "Long live the queen") during processions as early as December 2nd, when I joined the confirmation class and other community members in the first of several processions. The second was on one of my roommates birthdays and his parents had the opportunity to visit him and experience a local church procession complete with Aztec dancers and sage. Still, that wasn't it. The novena completed on December 12th with a Mass and las mananitas beginning at 3:45 in the morning. And we managed to wake up and, bundled in blankets that we didn't need once we got in the church, listened to awesome Mariachi music and then celebrated Mass.
Then as we all were preparing to go home for a Christmas break with our family, we also participated in Las posadas, a call and response procession, celebrated nightly from December 16th until the 23rd, The group of faithful people process to 3 houses, recreating the journey of Mary & Joseph and at each house they sing a song, creating a dialogue between the choir and the people, representing the innkeepers and Mary & Joseph. There is also a testimony about education, faith, etc. Then the group continues on to the next house until the final stop, where they are finally permitted to enter and usually fed. Our house had the honor of being the first stop the night before I left Los Angeles for the return home.
Between these celebrations and advent/Christmas, December was a very spiritual month. It finished perfectly and beautifully in the opportunity to visit family and friends and reconnecting with communities back home.
In the new year I will strive to update this blog more often as I experience the rest of this year in Los Angeles and whatever awaits beyond. Happy 2013. May it be blessed.
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