Well, here we are again, 2 months after I'm pretty sure I said I would be writing every month. Well, several things have happened since then and the last 2 months have kept me very much on my toes. The major event was on January 6th I became a victim of crime. I was walking to church in broad daylight by myself, something I've done a handful of times since living here. It's not a long walk at all and I'd never felt endangered on the way there before, so the primary thoughts running through my mind were about getting to Mass on time, since I was running late. Even walking down the sidewalk beside the church, I could hear the people in the congregation singing. I was nearly there when I saw a man in a dark hoodie sweatshirt round the corner where the church entrance was at the intersection of the two streets. I didn't think much of him, but said good morning, at which point he shoved me to the ground, ripped my purse off, breaking the handle and dashed off. Immediately after the community rushed to help. One woman handed me her cell phone to call the police since I thought I'd left mine in my purse (it turns out it was in my pocket, which I realized moments later). Another woman tried to head off the man in her car and find him. Soon after the parish priests and pastoral minister were taking care of me. My roommates were there in a flash and have been very supportive throughout the whole healing process, doing their best to walk me to and from places when they can, attending jiu jitsu classes with me and just overall being awesome people.
So, lest everyone think the last couple of months were entirely dark and depressing, let me set the record straight. We've also had a lot of fun. We went out before re-orientation and spent a day seeing the sights in San Fransisco. We went to fisherman's warf, Golden Gate Park, the mission, and had some great croissants that my roommate swears are better than the croissants in France. It was the first time I'd been in the bay area for an extended period of time and it was great! We also happened to see a double rainbow as we were driving on our way to the retreat, something truly special! We had a necessary time of rejuvenation and re-purpose at our Re-orientation that took place at the same place we had orientation 6 months before. Additionally we ruled the talent show with our houses massive dance skills. On the way back we took the 101, the scenic route back and saw some incredible ocean views, some elephant seals.
The students I work with never cease to amaze me from day to day. Whether it's having them yell at me for help with their homework or the struggle of getting them to settle down after a full day of school, there are always frustrating moments. There are a couple of them that I can depend on to lie to me about whether they have homework and that I just have to struggle with until they finally get tired of fighting. But it's the times that they're not fighting me that I really treasure and I'm sure will be the times I remember at the end of this year. Times like when I'm sitting down and reading a Cars book for the 5th time in a row with our Kindergartener. Or I'm reading "Wishbone" books with one of the little girls who is jealous of me because 1) my name is a book in the bible and 2) I got to see Wishbone on t.v. when I was growing up. One of the best moments in the past couple of months was playing basketball with some of the younger guys, particularly with one of the students who is absolutely famous for not listening to me. I was on his team and thankfully some of my basketball skills from years back came back to me for the day and we had a fantastic game. It may be just my imagination, but I think after that bonding experience he listens to me a little better than he did.
Being, now, more than halfway through the year is a very strange feeling. Even as I write this I'm thinking of questions to ask the person who will come here next year, the person my supervisor is going to be interviewing very soon. What will I be doing next year is still the looming question. I can tell now that this year has certainly changed me. A couple of weekends ago I gave a testimony talk at a retreat for confirmation students. This talk was very self-directed, which drove me nuts, especially since my roommate who was leading the retreat knows I like to have some structure and guidelines. How I made it my own surprised me. Perhaps the most surprising part was that I allowed myself to be very honest about the entirety of my experience and not worry if it was "okay". That meant that I spoke to my struggles with God, I spoke to the fact that sometimes the church and I or my parents and I disagree about issues of faith or social justice. I spoke to the fact that I was struggling in faith in a very deep, emotional way at the time and I allowed that to be all right. I've given so many talks in the past, to RCIA, to youth groups, to TEC retreats, but this is the first one I've given that I feel has truly been 100% me, 100% my testimony that I owned, 100% my story and not pleasing the people who were running the retreat or saying what I was supposed to say. I also gave the kids a card and asked them to write down 2 things, one gift that they have and one thing they would change about the world. While I may have said this in other talks, really going out and doing the action this year has been a truly powerful experience. I don't think I've gotten enough of it yet, so I am still debating doing a second year of JVC. I've also debated staying here in Los Angeles, specifically the neighborhood where I live now. Either option is scary, but I've got to wrestle with it.
So in closing for now, I want to refer you to the passage I used to close my talk at the retreat, Jacob wrestling with God/the Angel in Genesis. Look it up if you have a free moment.
Peace, love & courage,
-Ruth
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